I Got 99 Problems But a Beach Ain’t One…

Related Article
Travel
Vitamin Sea: 5 SF-Approved Beach Clubs in Jeddah
Read Article
Photo: Courtesy of NBC

The beach is great. The people? Not so much.

Even without the pandemic and its litany of social distancing sins, there are plenty of obnoxious beach behaviors that make us wish we’d gone to the swimming pool instead.

If you really love to be beside the sea, please don’t do these things…

1

Playing Loud Music

Here’s a list of places you shouldn’t play music out loud: Trains, restaurants, museums, libraries, funerals, job interviews, the in-laws’ house while saying grace, movie screenings of A Quiet Place, and the beach. We know your summer tunes playlist gets you hot, but at any given moment, a good 40% of beach-goers are on their sunbeds having a snooze.

2

Inappropriate Staring

Wearing sunglasses is not a free pass to lechery. People can still tell.

joey tribiani on beach
GIF: Courtesy of Giphy
3

Throwing Sand Around

Sand is light (duh), and when airborne can easily lodge itself in the eyes, hair, and sandwiches of people several feet away. Some disturbance is inevitable, but could you please not shake your towel out when we’re downwind?

4

The Constant Photoshoots

We know full well that the Instagram post that got you hundreds of ‘likes’ was not #candid, because we saw you framing, posing, and re-shooting for what seemed like a week. We also know it’s technically none of our business, but there’s something oddly obnoxious about your place of leisure being turned into someone else’s runway.

brooklyn 99 posing
GIF: Courtesy of Giphy
5

Damaging Other People's Sandcastles

Our sandcastles deserve to be built to completion, photographed for posterity, and allowed to disassemble with dignity. Nothing lasts forever, but only Poseidon has the right to take our work before its time.

GIF: Courtesy of Giphy
6

Littering

Littering is a universal sin, but at the seaside it’s perhaps at its most harmful. It hurts the good wildlife (dolphins, turtles, seals), while attracting the bad (aggressive seagulls), and since sand semi-covers everything, anything you drop could be stepped on by a child.

7

Having a Great Physique and Knowing It

We see you there, lathering sun tan lotion like it’s baby oil, chest puffed out like a pigeon on graduation day, striking a pose reminiscent of Michelangelo’s David. All that time in the gym, all that time in front of the mirror – only to faintly irritate people you don’t know.

GIF: Courtesy of Giphy
Be in the know.
Every day, receive Savoir Flair's top articles straight to your computer or smartphone. It's never been easier to stay up-to-date on the latest fashion, beauty, and lifestyle stories.
Click to get the latest news on your device
You can stop notifications at any time.
Unsubscribe from our notifications
Click to unsubscribe from notifications on this device.
Be in the know.
Every day, receive Savoir Flair's top articles straight to your computer or smartphone. It's never been easier to stay up-to-date on the latest fashion, beauty, and lifestyle stories.
Connect using Facebook Messenger